Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
