A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
