If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
