There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
