I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
