Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
