Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
