dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
