U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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