The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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