I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
