u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He literally asked permission to hit on me
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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