He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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