This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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