Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
