I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I currently don't understand fingers.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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