i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
