I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I will be naked everywhere
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
