So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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