Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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