you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I believe in your delicious
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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