East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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