There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
