i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
