benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
