Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We named our party play list daddy issues
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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