Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
