Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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