he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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