I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
3 2 1 whiskey
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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