what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
