I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We left an ass print on the piano.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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