i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I want to be your penis for a week.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
