no, he came in my armpit
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
