she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
