I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
