we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
