we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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