i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Randomize
