as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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