I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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