9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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