I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Holy sore nipples Batman
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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