I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
