me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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