i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
