8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
