I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
