Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
