Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
