Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
