have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
