Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
